I know from personal experience that the more I complain about something, the more mired I get in it’s yuckiness.

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Things become a bigger and bigger “issue” in my own mind as I dwell on and revisit them. We must take control of our thoughts and “let it go.”

Taking control of our thoughts starts by taking control of our words. Yes, our own words wield significant power over us.

We need to pay attention to that. “But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.”

Matthew 15:18 If this is not the marriage you want, then make a conscious effort to STOP bashing your husband to your girlfriends and others.

Take the matter to God and then, as He directs you, take it to your husband. For many of us, that’s all we really need to do. No more. For more encouragement, check out 7 Biblical Tips for Resolving Conflict in Marriage.


You are a trusted pair of eyes into your husband’s most private life. If you don’t speak well of him, how can other respect him? We dishonor and discredit our husbands when ill words and “poor me’s” are what readily flow from our mouths. Remember the Proverbs 31 woman? Proverbs 31:10-12, 23 A
wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life… Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. I

s there any doubt that she speaks highly of her man? He has full confidence in her. She brings him good, not harm. He’s respected at the city gate.

What a blessing she is to him! You can be that to your husband. How lucky he would count himself if you repeatedly and graciously forgave and overlooked his offenses against you. What a ruby you would be in his life. Proverbs 17:9 “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”


You do know your children are watching you at all times, right? They hear you, even if you’re not talking to them directly. They feel the impact your words have as others develop a negative impression of your marriage and lose respect for their dad.

I am so thankful for my own mom’s example in this. I have never… not once… heard her speak a word against my dad. I know this was a conscious decision, because we all get frustrated at times, and she never wavered in it.

She is quick to praise him, and always has been. You know what? I learned that from her. I’m not as perfect perhaps, but my instinct is life-giving praises, not life-sucking grumbles.

I’m blessed by her influence because it allows my own marriage to thrive. Proverbs 14:1 “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.”


Do you realize that God loves this man more than you do?

And do you realize the great extent of your own shortcomings before God? Yet He offers you and me grace. We honor Him when we do the same for others. And who gives us more opportunities to show grace than our husbands?

In fact, in light of our own standing before God, this offering of grace is the absolute least we can and should do. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen… Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Ephesians 4:29-32 For more encouragement, check out A Call to Selfless Serving in Marriage: Keeping an Eye on Eternity. Let me challenge you to make a change THIS WEEK. Tie a string around your finger and resolve to intentionally speak well of your husband for the next seven days, not in flattery, but sincerely, focusing on his strengths and choosing to swallow the rest.


Dear God,

Thank you so much for my husband. I can’t imagine my life without him and he means the world to me.

Help him to know what a blessing and a gift he is to me. Please help me to show my gratitude and adoration for him with my words and actions.

Let me never take him for granted, Lord. Please bless him and keep him. Amen.

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