We’ve compiled some of the best, tried-and true marriage rules for spouses to live by. While the term “rules” might sound intense;
don’t let it get to you.

In this sense, rules are merely guidelines or

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These rules of a happy marriage
can help us live our best lives
and find our happiest marriage
or long-term love relationship.

Express your love every day

To build a strong, love-charged marriage,you have to make it a priority to show and
express that love every single day.

This is a lot easier for some people (and some
couples) who find saying “I love you” or
showing physical affection to be very
natural. But this is not all couples, and it is
certainly not all individuals. In fact, we each
have our own love language.
Love languages refer to the method by
which you best experience feeling loved.
Learning your partner’s love language as
well as your own can be instrumental in helping you learn how to express love each
day. We suggest checking out the official
book The Five Love Languages to learn all
about this.

Expressing your love, in whatever form,
sometimes can be an act of will. Sometimes,
being loving takes effort. It’s healthy to
admit that, and know that our emotions
go through ebbs and flows. We might not
always be feeling loving to our spouse. We
might not be into it today.

Be in charge of your own emotions

Having a partner around to support you and
help you with your problems is wonderful
(especially when getting through hard
times together), but it can be easy to fall
into a trap of wanting them to fix things for
you. I know I fell into this trap when I was
first with my husband and experiencing a
lot of reassurance-seeking issues. I thought
“if only he would say or do such-and-such,
I’d feel better.”

The truth is, we’re all responsible for our
selves: our actions, our self-worth, our
One rule for a happy marriage is to
remember this and practice it.

It’s the mature, adult thing to do to recognize
that we’re in charge of our own emotions.
This helps us avoid looking to our partner
to “fix” us, and it helps us avoid playing
the blame game; thinking our partner
is at fault for the way we may be feeling.
According to PsychCentral, it is “our beliefs
and expectations about a person or event
or situation [that] directly influence and,
many would argue, cause our feelings.”
In a marriage, being responsible for your
own emotions shows up in several different
It’s about taking ownership of your emotions
in a conflict situation.

It’s about controlling negative emotions
and not taking them out on your partner in
an unhealthy or un-kind way.
And it’s about realizing that we all come
with emotional baggage and we’re the
ones in charge of figuring that problem out.
Marriage is a breeding ground for these
issues to come to light. We’re comfortable
with another person and this allows us to
be vulnerable. This is when “stuff” comes
up. Your old issues, neuroses, anxieties.
And your spouse is the closest person
to you. They are undoubtedly going to
“trigger” something in you. Trust me. It
happens. When it does, remember to take
a step back and recognize what the truth is.
Observe where these emotions are coming
from (hint: it’s probably from deep inside
If both partners keep this in mind
throughout a relationship, they will be much
more emotionally healthy and experience
better communication.

Keep divorce off the table

In marriage, the “D” word can be a scary
threat. It could be worth setting a rule
together that you’ll keep that word off the
Here’s why.
For most couples, there is an awareness
that divorce is an option. This knowledge
might not be at the forefront of our minds,
but we are aware of its existence in the
background. Keeping far in the background,
in my opinion, is an important rule for a
good marriage!

When divorce becomes something that we
threaten (whether directly or indirectly) this
weeakens the foundation of our marriage. It
says, “I have a way out.”

Instead of allowing this to become the
mindset, we should think of divorce as an
absolute last resort. It should not be “on the
table” except in the most extreme of cases.
Otherwise, what are we fighting for?
Putting the possibility of divorce on the
way back burner helps us to recognize the
sacredness of marriage and the depth of
the commitment we made. It forces us to
focus all our efforts towards saving and
building that which we promised to protect.

Always maintain a team mindset

Many relationship experts would arguethat a team mindset is absolutely one of
the keys to a successful marriage. This one
makes plenty of obvious sense. When you
know you are a team, it makes it easier to
remember that you’re not working against
each other, even when you’re in conflict.
If you’re thinking and working like a team,
you’ll stay a team—and a winning team at
So, in a marriage, what does it mean to be
a team?
This might vary among couples, just as your
priorities and your preferences vary, so it’s
wise to sit down and actually talk about it
together. Ask your wife what would make
her feel like the two of you are a team. Ask
your husband how you can be a better
teammate. And so on. Together, you will
likely discover some clear ways to improve.

Perhaps one of my favorite rules for a
successful marriage is this: make your
marriage a priority.

This is a subtle one, but it will reveal itself in
your actions.
Prioritizing your marriage is so important.
It doesn’t just mean making time for
your marriage. It means respecting the
wonder and specialness of your marriage.
It means putting real effort into growing
and maintaining the relationship. It means
putting your spouse first. And it might mean
sacrificing some other things for the sake
of your marriage.
But here’s a secret: keeping your marriage
as a main priority in your life pays off.

When you’re continually paying attention
and in-tune with what’s happening in
your marriage (and regularly working to
improve it), things generally go much more
smoothly and peacefully.
In other words, giving your marriage
frequent little “tune-ups” makes it far
more likely that you’ll avoid a major and
unexpected collision.

When you’re continually paying attention
and in-tune with what’s happening in
your marriage (and regularly working to
improve it), things generally go much more
smoothly and peacefully.
In other words, giving your marriage
frequent little “tune-ups” makes it far
more likely that you’ll avoid a major and
unexpected collision.

Show gratitude and appreciation for
your spouse

Love isn’t the only thing that makes the
world go round—and that keeps a marriage
thriving. Gratitude and appreciation are
also extremely valuable.
You don’t need to make a grand gesture to
show your partner that you appreciate them.
It can be easier than you think to do this. A
simple “thank you” or a quick compliment
can go a long way. If your partner enjoys
receiving cards and notes, this can also
be a thoughtful way to show them that
you care. Heck, even an appreciate or
romantic text can be effective. All these
things solidify your romantic relationship
and your friendship as well.
What matters most is the thought and the
intent behind it. Remind yourself to regularly
demonstrate gratitude for the things your
spouse does for you and gives to you. If
you’re like me, your marriage brings so
many blessings and joys to your life. You
can never show this too much.
You can also do good things for your
spouse behind the scenes, such as praying
for them. Acting lovingly doesn’t have to be
something that is seen or recognized for it
to be worthwhile and valuable.

Strive to give more than you get
We humans love to be selfish. It’s true, and
I’ll be the first to admit it.
My husband has given me exponentially
more back massages than I have ever
given him. He’s so kind and generous to
do this for me. But I know that I should be
reciprocating more often than I do. His back
deserves some rubbing, too. It’s something
I try to stay aware of; to be sure I’m focusing
on giving to my husband rather than taking
from him. And this applies to so much more
than back rubs!
I know that acting selflessly and putting
him first is something I’ll have to work on
for the rest of my life. Why? Because it goes
against human nature to be selfless.
But part of creating an amazing relationship
is the act of working on ourselves. Because
I love my husband and my desire is to be
the best wife to him that I can be, I am
committed to continually bettering myself.
Becoming a more selfless, more loving, and
more generous person is important not
only for my marriage but for my life. This is
just another way in which real love helps us

Make time for your marriage
Making time to be with your partner is one
of the #1 rules for a good marriage. In its
simplest form, this means taking time to be
together every day, even if it’s just for a few
minutes. You could incorporate a morning
or evening ritual to get used to connecting
more regularly.
Be sure you’re spending quality time
together. Date nights are great (and we’ve
got tons of date ideas for couples for you)
but what matters is that you spend time
one-on-one. Put away the phones and

laptops and really strive to engage with
one another. It doesn’t mean you have to
have a deep conversation. But simply being
together, without distractions, will cement
your bond in a very real and true way.

Keep intimacy alive
Closeness is an incredibly important part of
any marriage. This closeness, or intimacy,
is physical, emotional, and even spiritual.
We’re not just talking about keeping a
‘spark’ alive. What is truly vital for a strong
marriage is intimacy in whatever form it
The best marriage advice I can give is to
be vulnerable. This is the only way intimacy
is created. When you are vulnerable, you
open yourself up to another person, and in
this space is where the intimacy begins.
Having important and meaningful
conversations is part of it. Being open about
your fears, hopes, and dreams.
Being physically intimate is also a large
part of it. A healthy sex life is tremendously
important to a marriage. But non-sexual
intimacy shouldn’t be ignored, either.
Intimacy can mean trying new things
together, too. Setting goals and finding
shared adventures. Even a quick romantic
getaway could be exactly what you need
for an intimacy boost.

What could your marriage use in the
intimacy department? Don’t be afraid to
discuss it with your spouse, and if you want
something, the best advice is to just ask.

Never stop learning about what love is.

And finally, the secret to a happy marriage
just might be a neverending discovery of
the meaning and purpose of love. Love is
incredibly deep and unfathomable. What it
means to love and be loved are vast and
complex mysteries that have been puzzling
humankind for centuries.
These are concepts that definitely deserve
our attention and contemplation. And
the more we ponder love and work on
understanding it (and more importantly
GIVING it) the more full of love we will
naturally become.
If you want to build a great marriage, the
best and most honest advice I can give is
to continually open your heart to love.

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Thank you for this information and the prayers too

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